I had my first night home
lived here for months
Now across each season
Though not quite a year
But this period of ten of Teshuvah
I find solace that in which I hear
I had my first porch night
In the month of comfort
It was cozy with fall’s blanket chill
October here not to pass by
The sounds of my neighborhood
The noise of cars the hum of hvacs
The whistle of the occasional gust
The rhythmic thump of a court game
Pickleball only the next block over
This house is what I wanted
Not a condo not detached
Not suburban but really
Really truly urban
The whine of the El
That melodic symphony
The one only a train makes
Sharp and tonal with a crescendo
This night makes me reminisce
Those evenings on Rock Lake
Down south near the town of mouse
I sat on that porch
Not often but enough
I sat on that porch with my dad
And we would have a Farbrengen
In the warm swampy air
Heavy and sticky
But there I’d hear
The roar of the frogs
The chirp of the cicada
The hoot of the occasional owl
A splash of a bass
Just jumping up for a snack
That lake that porch that house
That was home
It may have only been a 100 days each year
But it was home
And now last night I felt it
that calm comfort
That feeling that feels
Like home somehow
But it is not somehow
It is not fleeting
Lake stares from across the room as I write
And in that moment I noticed
The love around me
This is my neighborhood
And this is my home
And for the first time in months
And for the first time in decades
Just last night now
This is home
I feel home