Those nights in which I do dream
Sometimes you’re there and I witness you
I see us there always lost within that void
Lost in the fighting and arguing
Without time always in the past
It’s a mine field littered with emotion
some wavered even Healed, maybe?
These emotions, ubiquitous and surreal
This state I’m currently living
Listen to me this is the deal
I feel scarred and even broken
Left on read never ever quite heard
Do you see as I’m stuck in limbo
With a void closure I crave
But these dreams leave me so
I will not reach out
We will not conversate stuck forever
In my dreams we will argue and maybe
Just maybe
I’ll be more than never quite fully healed
I don’t see happiness or when I do
It is clouded in shame
Resentment is just an emotion
One you saved me from feeling
I can thank you for that
Oh yes and it’s an unequivocal truth
The stress and anguish
The aniexty and panic
I’ve been a people pleaser
I struggled with you to ask for what I need
And struggled with what I wanted
The audacity within me I never asked
I never asked for what I needed
I never asked
Instead I reached for what I wanted
Asking for forgiveness along the way
With each night when I turn to witness you
We always find ourselves fighting
Arguments lost in time
One we never had
language and memory
Both capable of knowing truth
Of prediction one I solemnly swear
An argument we would have had
Resentment is just an emotion
One you saved me from feeling
You Shattered that past
You broke the promise
The one most egregious of all
Cause you promised
You’d never hurt me
Well fuck look at me now